When it came time to prepare for another team to be sent to Panama, my husband and I prayed. As we prayed, we both felt as if God wanted us to go together this year. Side by side. We took that in, and then got caught up with the 35 days of prayer, summer school planning, and vbs.
As time passed, we kept it to the side. There were too many things going on that we needed to take care of. For me, I still had not learned.
Remember Kona? Remember raising the funds to go there within three weeks? Remembering not having to worry and just preparing to go? Just obeying what we felt God had spoken to our hearts?
I put what God had spoken about Panama to the side. The side that is furthest from me. The side that is furthest from God's will.
The worry of finances had squelched the fire that God had started to burn in my heart.
Well, fast forward to last week. I had given up in my heart to go, but I felt myself praying about it again. On Thursday night my husband had to Skype the missionary to talk about last minute details (the team is leaving on the last day of this month). I walked into the room to put away laundry when I heard the missionary strongly urge my husband to bring me to Panama. He gave several reasons why I should go. After their conversation, my husband and I prayed.
Friday night, I slept over at church with the elementary school children. We had a "Sweet Prayer Night." The children learned about prayer and praising Jesus from their hearts. It was such a blessed night. There was freedom to praise and pray.
One of the things that I felt that God was impressing on my heart was to have the children pray for my cancer. So what did I do? I asked them to pray for me! The children lifted up such pure prayers for me. Then, this little girl lifted up two prayers for me that were 1-2 minutes apart:
first prayer: "Please heal Mrs. Monica so that she can go on missions."
second prayer: "Help Mrs. Monica go to Panama."
That Friday morning, I had asked God to give me a sign. Unbeknownst to me, my husband had done the same.
Do we feel like that was a sign? Yes!
Why couldn't have I just obeyed the first time? Why did I waiver? Sometimes, you think that you have come a long way, but then you realize...
Advice: obey the first time God tells you to do something.
Yes, I am a pastor's wife. Yes, I still make daily mistakes. I am human too.
I can't wait to tell you about all that God is going to do in Panama!