Friday, May 16, 2014


I had to go for chemo a day early this week. It actually worked out perfectly. The office is going to be closed on Friday because they are changing their computer/scheduling system. Thankfully, my white blood cell count went up from 0.5 to 1.0. I was so thankful when the nurse told me! Thank you for your prayers!

Today, I am scheduled to give myself the Neulasta shot. I remembered early enough to take the Claritin on Thursday. Now, I just have to remember to give myself the actual shot. I actually set the alarm on my phone to remind myself to give myself the shot. I just have to remember why I set the alarm.

It is going to be a very busy few days, and I don't have time to be sick! My sister is coming from out of town to visit! We are all so excited! AND, this Saturday, my big boy, A1, is graduating eighth grade! I am, officially, going to be the mom of a high schooler! Yikes!

God is so good! He's so good to me!

Monday, May 12, 2014


My youngest, A3, was accepted into the homeschool group that A1 and A2 attend. We were all so excited! He had been waiting to go since his brother and sister had started last August! That is A3.

Today, he was able to spend the full day at the homeschool group. He spent the day shadowing the 3rd grade students, so that he could get a taste of what would be expected of him. When he woke up, his hair was a bit crazy. I told him to spray it down, but he asked if he could take a shower. He wanted to look good for his classmates. That is A3. When I dropped the kids off at the homeschool group, I pulled A3 aside and prayed for him. As soon as I was done, he zipped away. Didn't even look back! That is A3. My daughter, A2, told me that she had seen A3 and that he had looked like he had known the other boys for a long time. That is A3. A2 also told me that A3 was with the talkative boys and with the boy that she had told me always had a red ring around his mouth from the juice bottle that he drank out of. A1 had also seen A3 and said that he looked like he had been having a good time. That is A3.

My husband went to pick them up. I was at church praying and came home an hour after them. That is when I saw that he wasn't feeling well - at all. My husband was holding him. When I touched him, his body felt warm. He kept coughing. He had no energy except to tell me that he had a lot of fun today. And, I learned that my husband had bought him a milkshake and that he had thrown it up. It was supposed to be a secret milkshake, but it wasn't a secret anymore. We gave him 2 puffs of his inhaler and waited to see if his breathing got better.

When A3 gets a cold with a cough, I always have to watch him. He has never been formally diagnosed with "asthma," but he gets "bronchial spasms." This usually happens 1-3 times a year. We have to give him the inhaler so that his breathing normalizes.

A3 was laying on the couch and fell asleep. I couldn't help but sit by his feet. The mother in me wanted to comfort my baby! As I sat there watching my baby, I noticed that his pants had, not just one hole, but a few holes in them. I had picked those pants for him this morning. I had never noticed. That is me - now. I believe that those were the pants that he had taken scissors to and cut holes in last year. That used to be and, I hope, isn't A3 any longer. He had a very nice blue collar dress shirt with khaki pants with holes all over them because his mother hadn't noticed. That is me - now.

Then, A1 came around and told me I shouldn't be by A3 because he was so sick. He said it again. Then, A1 said that he would sit by A3. I was so touched to see my oldest looking out for me and his younger brother!

I called the pediatrician, and it was recommended that we take him to the ER. He is there, now, with my husband. He isn't wheezing, but he can't take in deep breaths. The doctor gave him some steroid medication and is watching him. Please pray for my baby!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Update to New Schedule

I wasn't able to get my chemo treatment yesterday. My white blood cell counts went to an all time low: 0.5. I was in complete shock. It was only last week that it had been 5.3 or so, and everyone had commented on how good my counts looked.

During the past 4 cycles of Abraxane, the really low white blood cell counts didn't show up until the third treatment and that is why my oncologist had changed my schedule. This happening on the second treatment didn't look too good. I guess the medicine is building up in my body.

Today was the day that I was to give myself the Neulasta shot, but my oncologist wants me to wait until I can get my second treatment. I have to wait and see if my white blood cell count will go up naturally this next week. I also have to be on watch for a temperature of 100.5 because it might be a sign of an infection that my body might be fighting.

A few cancer patients had told me of how frustrating it was when they couldn't get treatment. Now I understand.

Please pray that my white blood cell count will go up this week so that I can get treatment on Thursday.

Gotta get my mask out.

Friday, May 9, 2014

New Schedule

I am run down and exhausted. There has been so much that I have had to attend to that I haven't had the energy to write. My body is exhausted and my back has been acting up. I am a person who needs days of not going anywhere and just resting at home. Haven't had those kinds of days lately and there are no prospects of those kinds of days in the near future. And then, my addiction keeps taking hold of me (will write about that soon).

Last Friday, I met with my oncologist. With my white blood cell count showing a pattern of getting really low on the third treatment, she had to change things around. Now, I am getting two consecutive chemo treatments, giving myself the Neulasta shot, and then having two weeks off.

When you read this, I will be going for my second chemo treatment in my fifth cycle of Abraxane. Which means that I will have to give myself the Neulasta shot on Saturday. Have to get more Claritin. Have to remember to take the pills on time! Have to attend to my addiction again. Yikes!