It has been almost two weeks since I went to the orthopedic surgeon. He's the one who gave me the cortisone shot that made me cry. Remember? I didn't tell him at the time (I'm like this a lot), but my heart felt weird. I could feel it beating in my body. I thought that I should tell the doctor but I didn't. I'm a bit delayed in those things. I thought that I should wait a while and then tell him, but I forgot. Then my arm hurt and went a little numb. It started feeling better after a few days. It's still not 100%, but I can raise it a bit more and that dull pain isn't there when I lay down.
BUT, it all started on my mom's birthday. I felt it all day. I had no patience. I wanted to yell. I was not a good momma. I was not a good wife. I was not a good daughter on my mom's birthday. It didn't help when the L's pizza we picked up to take to my mom's was messed up: no cheese on half of the pizza was turned to "extra" cheese... don't get me started... I know you didn't, but don't get me started.
Well, we got home from my parent's house a bit late. There was a sink of dishes to do. My husband was exhausted from having had a very long day. My children were cranky because they had partially fallen asleep on the way home. My husband collapsed on the bed and slept. I had no choice but to do the dishes. That was when the crankiness, bad attitude, impatience from the day hit me... head on. I wanted to throw the dishes that I was washing. I wanted to break them and not have to clean them up. I wanted to see them smash against the wall. I wanted to punch a hole in the wall. But, I didn't want to clean that kind of mess up. Who does?
So I kept doing the dishes, and that is when the thought came to me. Could it be the cortisone shot? Essentially, it is steroids. I thought of my gentle, calm friend who had the feelings of wanting to "hurt someone" when taking steroids for an illness. So what did I do after finishing the dishes? Looked up "cortisone shots + anger" and I got my answer. My husband doesn't want me blaming the drugs, but he isn't going through this crazy, emotion-packed roller coaster that I have been on. Menopause. Cortisone (steroids). I wasn't this crazy before, was I? Don't answer that!
Don't mess with a woman's hormones.
Don't mess with cortisone... Not that I can since the doctor gives the shots. Just saying.
I have another appointment with the orthopedic surgeon on Thursday. I am scheduled to get another cortisone shot on my left shoulder. But, I've decided not to get the second shot. I think that my arm would feel better but the emotions aren't worth it. The shots don't even "cure" what has been happening in my shoulders. The shots just offer temporary relief through a painful injection of steroids that can cause you to want to throw things and punch holes in the walls. Just saying.
Last week was kind of crazy, but I am feeling much better. I think... Just stay out of my way!