I Choose You

On Monday, A2, A3, and I went to a nearby shopping mall. I had to return some swim suits that my sister had bought for me, and I needed to get a new battery for my watch (that I have had since high school). No, it wasn't a Swatch (which first came out when I was in high school). Although, I did pass a Swatch store at the mall...

About the swim suits. My sister had called me a few months back telling me that she wanted to buy me a swim suit. I told her that I didn't need one because I had one that I had only worn a few times. She insisted that she wanted to get one for me, and I told her that I would get back to her after I tried on the one I had.

Well, I did and it was a rude awakening. My body has changed a lot since my mastectomy. Hello, Moni!? Isn't that obvious??? Well, I didn't realize how much until this situation arose. I can't wear the same styles that I did in the past. Now I know why my plastic surgeon wanted to remove fat from my belly and inject it into other area to even out the symmetry of my body. This whole bathing suit situation made me realize how much was cut from my body. I apologize if I am being too crude. 

Thus, my search for a mastectomy friendly bathing suit began. I was lead to Land's End, which has mastectomy bathing suits. My sister ordered some for me and sent some more styles that she had found at a local store that carries the same brand. Another rude awakening: most did not fit or cover the way they needed to. I had to reorder other styles in different sizes, and I finally found one that fits. My mom does have to adjust the straps a bit, but it does offer the coverage that I now need.

I never knew that it could be this difficult to get a bathing suit - post mastectomy. Really. I did see some speciality stores that did sell mastectomy swimsuits (online), but they were either too expensive or not nice looking.

About the watch battery. I dropped off the watch to get the battery changed. The woman told me that it would take 15 minutes, so we waited outside the store. The store was located on the second floor of the mall. A2, A3, and I were looking over the railing watching the people below. The railing was made of metal on top and clear plastic/glass below. Quite honestly, I didn't want to lean fully into it because it felt like I would fall over. Don't like looking over edges.

Just as I was thinking that, A3 said, "I'm afraid that this railing is going to fall over. Mom, what if this railing falls over?"

Me: "You will all be very rich."

A3: "Why?"

Me: "Because if I fall over and die, this shopping mall will have to pay you a lot of money because they didn't make the railings safe."

A3: (Quickly comes to me and hugs me tightly) "Mom, I don't want money, I WANT YOU."