Five

Four or so years ago, I lost a considerable amount of weight. I had not been dieting. I had not been trying to lose weight. The weight just came off without my realizing it. In retrospect, I think that it was my thyroid and stress.

I didn't realized how much (didn't own a scale) until I weighed myself somewhere... don't know where... but I weighed myself... somewhere. I had dropped down to my early high school years weight. I remember being afraid to tell my husband how much I had lost... didn't want to worry him.

People made comments about how thin I looked, but I thought that I had lost my 3 children baby weight. Most people had only seen the after-having-huge-babies-Moni (A1 had been 9 lbs. 7 oz). They hadn't seen pre-huge-babies-Moni.

Fast forward to menopause. I don't believe that having the monthly menopause-inducing shots put me into full-blown menopause. Having the oophorectomy did. Right away, I noticed a lot of changes in my body. The one that I hated the most (besides the mood swings and hair loss) was the added padding around my stomach area. It kept getting squishier. Or, as A3 said, "Mom, are you pregnant again?"

A few months after my oophorectomy, I noticed that I had gained 2 pounds (we had a scale in our house then). I saw it as something good. Some pants started to fit better. Then, we went on vacation.

During our time in South Carolina, I tried to eat healthy but also ate what everyone else was eating. There was nonstop eating and rationalization that it was okay to eat a huge portion because we were on vacation. Doesn't everyone do that on vacation?

There was a lot of laundry going on during that time. With a house full of 17 people, there were many loads tumbling in the washer and dryer each day. I would get pants back and they would be a bit snug. I assumed that it was like that because it had just been washed. I would do a few squats to loosen the pants, but they wouldn't loosen. I was a bit puzzled, but with my short-term memory issues, I quickly forgot.

On my last oncology visit, I was weighed, as usual, and that is when it hit me. I had gained 5 pounds. For four years I had been the same weight. Now, within an eight month period, I had gained 5 pounds. I am now at my before-I-got-married-weight. People have made a lot of comments on how my face looks more filled in and healthy. I hope it fills in my wrinkles. Just don't tell me that my head got bigger because that taps into my complex about having a big, Asian head that some members of my family gave me...