Thursday

While in Korea, we slept over my sister-in-law's home. My kids had so much fun playing with their older cousins. They were so kind and patient. We got family haircuts. We ate late into the night. It was quality time spent with family. Oh yeah, there was a visit to the emergency room, but I will write about that another time.

The Thursday after my exam and biopsy, my husband got a call on the cell phone he had borrowed from my mother-in-law. I knew right away that it was the doctor. My husband's voice lowered and got serious. He went into my sister-in-law's room and I followed him. That is when we found out. The biopsies confirmed that I had breast and thyroid cancer.

Words cannot express the emotions that storm inside of you when you hear that you have been diagnosed with cancer. Your bottom suddenly drops out. The dreams of the life that you had hoped for flash by. I started to cry, maybe wail a little... I wanted to cry quietly but couldn't. I started hyperventilating. I couldn't catch my breath to breathe. My husband comforted me and then went out to tell my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Writing about that day brings back the tears...

The thoughts that overwhelmed me: what about my husband and children?

A verse that I had been clinging to for a very long time reminded me of what I needed to pray...

My soul cleaves to the dust, revive me according to Your Word.

Psalm 119:25